


My First Thoughts

by yanderelevi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Vows, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-04 22:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4155330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yanderelevi/pseuds/yanderelevi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a short one-shot of Levi talking about Eren at their wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My First Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Hola! Another shitty one shot. Enjoy!

I cleared my throat walking up to the stage, nothing prepared. We promised to be 'all natural' or something stupid like that. I cleared my throat again, breathing in a large breath. 

"Many things ran through my mind when I first saw him. 'Who is he?' Or 'Why is he here?'. Someone like him, shouldn't be here. He should be at home, with his parents, living a happy life, instead of being fearful of his life all day, every single day. But, for some reason, I felt like we understood eachother. 

We knew what something that shouldn't be felt, felt like. But, instead of being a normal person, I expressed my happiness of finally meeting someone who understood, with a kick in the face. 

And that, is how I met my the person I love, and who I will love for the rest of my life. But, it wasn't as easy as easy as saying '1,2,3' or 'A, B, C'. Well, maybe it could have been, but of course, how could it be? 

The life that we live makes nothing easy, even everyday pleasures like love. 

I remember how much courage it took me to ask him the one question that rattled my mind, but what scared me was not the question, but the answer. 

'Hey, Eren. Are you scared of me?'

Those words, depending on the answer, determined wether or not I fell in love with him or not.

I wanted to make it a 50-50, I wanted to challenge life itself, because thats what life is. A challenge. The answer he gave me, did not exactly surprise me, nor made me happy. Okay, maybe I lied.

I was very happy, and I was very surprised. You see, the natural response is a quivering voice atleast, or no eye contact. 

But, this kid, looked me straight in the eye. And the real kicker, was his choice of words. 

'No. I am not scared of you. I understand that you did what you have to do. I know it was necessary. Thank you.'

Wait. 

Thank you? Is this brat stupid as fuck? What I did was not necessary at all. 

I remember looking into his eyes, my boring, dull, grey eyes looking into his green ones, trying to find remorse or any sign of lying. I remember the feelings I felt. 

Pure happiness. I felt like I was on Cloud 9 or some of that stupid shit. 

'Oh. Huh.'

Was my reponse. 

Erwin was very surprised at this, judging by how I am never lost for words. I remember Erwin's cocky smirk. 

And I remember the glare I gave him, annoyed at the fact eyebrows of all people saw through me. 

But what I remember the most, was the cute confused look Eren gave, being oblivious to my clearly obvious feelings. 

Well, my obvious feelings to the people who had been around me the longest, like Erwin or Hanji. 

You know, looking back on it, he was most definitely my first love. I remember at the time I had led Petra on, much more far than I had even noticed. 

I regret that. And I also regret saying this, but if anything, leading her on was one of the best things I had done. 

Not because I liked her feeling pain, because it brought me to realize the extent of my feelings towards Eren. 

I know I was the cause for Petra's suicide. Atleast, one of the reasons. I thought of Petra as a sister, or maybe even a replacement for Farlan, or Isabel. 

I had broken down. All the feelings of regret I had since I was a child had piled out. I remember being the first one to find her body, the first one to see the dried tears and smell the metallic blood. 

The tears, piled out like a river, and the wails could be heard all the way to Trost. Eren was the first to come, knowing it was me who had released the ugly cries of absolute sadness. 

Hanji came next, covering her mouth with shock, as she saw me with Petra's head on my lap and my head on Eren's chest, hugging his body as if he were the only thing keeping me alive. 

At that point, he was. 

The pain I felt then, was the pain I had bottled up for years. I think Erwin knew, because he told everyone to stay in their room the second he heard my cries of sorrow. I still have not thanked him for that. I should probably get around to that. 

That night, Eren slept in my room. I needed someone. 

To hold, to be there. The lonliness I felt was taken up by just him being there, hugging my body and whispering sweet nothings in my ear as I cried into his shoulder, grasping his white shirt as tightly as I could. 

That night, I accidentally let it slip out as I was falling asleep. Well, it was not exactly an accident, I just did it as I was sleeping so I could cover it up if he was bothered by it by saying, 'Huh? Oh, uh.... I was dreaming about my sister.' 

Or some other kind of bullshit, although I did not even have a sister. 

It took alot of courage, even though I was Humanity's Strongest. 

'I love you, stupid brat.' I mumbled, cuddling farther into his chest. He paused, his hands on my back stoppd moving. He looked at my sleeping form. 

And I could not see it, but I could hear the smile in his sleepy voice as he said the words I was wanting to hear the most since I first heard him speak to me. 

'Hehe. I love you too, Levi.'

The words he used to describe my reaction to this was 'priceless' when we explained to people our relationship, even to this day I have not heard him describe it a different way. I still punch him every single time he says it. Which is alot. 

I remember looking up at him, the tears stopping, and giggling softly, and hugging his chest, and wrapping my legs around his waist like a koala. 

I try to blame my reaction on being half asleep, but we both know, that was just me being happy. 

And I was never happy, that was why people never saw me like that. 

He stopped breathing, and began to chuckle tiredly, and I could tell he was happy too, because his hands ran so softly, so lovingly through my black locks. But, the stupid fuck decided to say, in the most awkward tone, if I may add, 

'So. I- are we? You know. Boyfriends? Like, in a relationship? Please say yes because I will probably cry if this turns out to be some kind of joke or some-Oh!'

I cut him off with a passionate kiss, not bothering to listen to the rest because it was useless. Of course the answer was yes, but I was too lazy to say it. I mean, I had gone through enough that day. 

'Yes, you uttermost, stupid, brat.'

He smiled, booping my nose with his pointer finger before putting his head in my neck, and hugging me tightly. 

That, was one of the best moments of my life within the worst day of my life. Irony. 

Now, here I am, at our wedding, giving a speech, about how much I love this stupid brat, and how much he makes me happy. Thank you, Eren Jaeger-Ackerman, for being the best thing that had ever happened to me. Literally. I love you."

I looked at him, and I saw the small tears that were building in his eyes as the smiles of all our comrades burned through both of us. 

I smiled at him, and only him, and the gasps were heard all around the room, for Hanji, Erwin, Eren, and Mikasa were the only ones who had seen my smile. Hanji and Erwin because they were my best friends, and Mikasa because she gave me approval to marry him. 

I still remember the shock on her face when I did that, and I am assuming the shock was evident on my face when she smiled back. 

I walked up to him and gave him a passionate kiss, wiping away the tears he had shed. "I love you too, Levi." He said through the tears and snot. I laughed slightly. 

Eren got up, walking up the stage and taking a deep breath. His first words were: 

"In all honesty, I thought he was an asshole the first time I saw him." 

I spit out my wine.


End file.
